Another day.....

So today was day two of actually burning more calories than I ate. GO ME! I'm learning a lot about what and why I crave the foods I do. Tomorrow night is going to be a real test. I need to look up "light" drinks. I had a little bit of muscle soreness today. Talked to a couple people about it and we all kinda think it's my body adjusting, that and I need to remember that I need protein. I'm taking a good multivitamin. I need to remember to take it before bed, otherwise it makes me super queasy.

I've been thinking about a few things. There is a big difference between my self image and the way people see me. I actually think I am smaller than people see me. I know this because when I see myself in pictures a lot of times I go..."I'm really that big?". I also know there is a HUGE difference between knowing I'm fat and someone actually making a comment or giving me a look. And trust me in my 28 (almost 29) years I've been called numerous names and I know what other people think of us shouldn't matter, but honestly it does, even if it is just a little bit.

I tend to find something to focus all my energy on, and most of the time it's something outside of myself. This is one time, that I am focusing on me, for me. I don't want the health problems I have now to get worse and most of the health problems I do have are caused by the excess weight. I've always dated guys who prefer bigger girls, or didn't know they did but do now (LOL). I really am glad there are all kinds of people who can love all the other different kinds of people. I've always dieted in the past because who I was with wanted me smaller. That is NOT a good reason. I have dieted a few other times for other people or with another person. This time it's ME for ME by ME!

I want to say a quick thank you to those of you who are tolerating my endless diet blabber. :) Eventually I hope to retrain my way of thinking about food and won't be so "in your face" about all of it :)